This post is inspired by a recent visit by my mother, and conversations with my early 20's cousin, both of whom have commented on my makeup and skincare game. I know it's hard to believe since I'm such a raging nerd, but I have applied my nerd talents to my beauty regime. So today I am here to share some tips, tricks, and products that can be used by people of all ages, but I will also give some good tips to the over-30 crowd. There are so many misconceptions about what we can and can't do past a certain age, but I've just tossed all those out because no one has time for can and can't do's.
Skincare
I used to just splash some water on my face each morning after brushing my teeth and call it a day. Some days I would use my awesome homemade face scrub but most of the time I could not be bothered. I am way too old to have the zits that I have, so I knew I had to do something differently if I wanted to take care of that issue (seriously, having to use anti-wrinkle cream AND anti-zit cream is such a cruel joke that isn't at all funny). Then I found this article in Shape magazine (I can't find the link, so - unlike my thesis professor - you're just gonna have to trust me) with a dermatologist who said the biggest things he can recommend to everyone, regardless of age or skincare needs, are retinol, and washing your face with an actual soap each morning. Easy.
Now, each morning I wash my face with Origins Checks and Balances face wash, mainly because it came in a Sephora 500-point perk but mostly because it's a genuinely good cleanser that doesn't leave my face feeling tight or greasy. I'm sure when this runs out, I can go out and get a Clearasil face wash that I'll like just as much, but as of today, this is what I use.
I'm a savage so I don't wear sunscreen like everyone says I should, but I justify this by... never going outside. I might honestly get 20 minutes of sun exposure per day. Do I look like Lydia from Beetlejuice? Yes. Will I ever get skin cancer? Not likely.
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| Not me |
I also don't wear moisturizer on my face for most days. I KNOW. But I have to do something to counteract my superpale tendencies, so I usually slap a thin layer of L'Oreal Sublime Bronze on my face after washing so that I don't frighten people with my undead glow.
Now, here is something that will actually, maybe, change your life - my nighttime routine. As much as I value my physical appearance (just ignore my belly, plz), I really can never be one of those women that spends thirty minutes getting ready for bed. If I can't bang out everything that needs to be done in about two minutes, it's out, I'll never do it. When I finally get to the point where I decide to go to sleep, I'm exhausted, the dogs are nagging me to come lay down, you get the picture.
If I've worn makeup that day, I wash it off with Pond's Cold Cream - the exact same stuff I've used since I was 15. Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Ponds gets the heavy lifting of makeup removal done, and leaves my face feeling soft. And it's like, $4 for a jar that will last me until the next presidential election. I've tried boscia Makeup-Breakup which is great, don't get me wrong, but I'm not really loving spending $30 for something that works just as well as Ponds, and lasts 25% as long. The only upside is that the pump was handy for when my face is soaked and I can't see anything, and the product was thinner and more of a solvent than the Ponds. But not worth it for a $25 price difference between the two. I wash with the cold cream and give my face a good wipe down with a fresh washcloth.
Then, I get a cotton round. Since my vanity situation really is just absolute heaven, there was no way I was going to keep a bottle of micellar water just laying around on there, so I bought a Antistatic Dissipative Solvent Dispenser Bottle with Stainless Steel Pump and I use that to hold this magnificent potion. I use as many micellar water-soaked pads as it takes to get all the last remains of the day's makeup off my face.
After that, I use a cotton round soaked in Thayer's witch hazel and let it just soak into my skin. This stuff will change your game, I promise you. I usually will try something out and abandon it after the container is empty because it's generally useless. This will be my third bottle of witch hazel. NOTHING is easier to get the day's junk off your face. I have tried all of the Clinique and Origins acne treatments, and they're fine, didn't really work miracles, but this $8 bottle of witch hazel does what I always hoped other products would do. It ACTUALLY leaves my face feeling so clean, not greasy, it smells like I'm a lady from the 1930's, and that one bottle lasts four months. I keep it in a pretty bottle because of course I do.
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| Can you blame me |
Afterwards, if I feel like it, I'll slather on some Roc Retinol night cream. This stuff is, the best I can tell, sorcery in a tube. I have wrinkles on my neck that are major gripes for me, so I apply a pea-sized amount to my face, and another pea-sized dot to my neck and chest. This is the only face cream I have ever used, and I have used Dior, Neutrogena, Clinique, Peter Thomas Roth, and basically every other brand there is, this is the only wrinkle cream I've ever used that actually DOES something. My neck is indistinguishable from a woman 10 years younger than me. The wrinkles disappear. I have laugh lines that won't go away because I keep laughing and I'm okay with that. But this tiny $16 tube lasts me two months and works miracles. I subscribe, that's how much I love this stuff.
Makeup
It is an extremely common misconception that women over the age of 20 shouldn't wear makeup that shimmers. I guess in the 70's or something everyone thought that if you were old enough to be considered creepy on a playground, you were required by social law to only wear matte beauty products.
Some of the most key pieces of makeup that a woman can wear to look younger are products that contain shimmer. I understand that no one wants to look like a greasy slob, and there is a huge difference between "greasy," "shiny," and "subtle shimmer." So here is how I do my makeup and end up with a dewy, but not shiny, not glittery, not tacky face.
1) PRIMER: Charlotte Tilbury Wonderglow Primer - don't even look at the price. I'm not joking. Just put in your credit card details and buy it. HOLY PERFECTION you have no idea. I used to use Benefit's Sunbeam under my foundation and loved it because it highlighted my awesome Sicilian bone structure (thanks, Ma!). It made my foundation glide on and kept me from looking chalky and old. Then I ordered some lipsticks from Charlotte Tilbury (they're meh, in case you wondered about that) and they threw in a sample packet of Wonderglow because they're genius businesspeople. I tried it and I honestly looked like I had Photoshopped skin in real life. My little skin bumps, my scars, my pores - gone. The things on my face that needed to be highlighted, were. They caught the light naturally and just made me look like I floated down to Earth on a cloud. Can you tell I love this stuff? I would buy it by the gallon if I could.
2) FOUNDATION: Too Faced Born This Way Foundation - this is the most popular "holy-grail" foundation I've seen across the board. It seems that anyone who ever tries this foundation loves it and the search for the perfect one ends. I have tried Clinique's new concealer and foundation in one, I've tried Guerlain Lingerie de Peau, BB Creams, CC Creams, Neutrogena, all of them, and nothing gives me the coverage I need without making me look like Christina Aguilera circa 1998.
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| Where were her parents |
3) CONCEALER: Hard Candy Glamoflauge Concealer - I rarely get a good night's sleep. This is why if you see me, I've either just finished consumption of my fourth cup of coffee, or that coffee is brewing, or it's in my hand. Starbucks is my second home. So one of the most critical pieces of my makeup regime has to be a good concealer unless I want to look like, again, Lydia from Beetlejuice. I can't live like that. MAC Pro Longwear concealer was recommended (and tried), same with Benefit's Erase Paste. Nothing cut it. Then someone on Reddit's Makeup Addiction suggested Glamoflauge, and since it was half the price of everything else I'd ever tried, I went for it. That was two years ago, and I've never gone back. I'm still on the same tube, by the way (don't judge me). It covers gloriously, doesn't crease, doesn't fade, and makes me look like I've actually slept at some point in the past five years.
4) CONCEALER BONUS: This one is going to blow your mind. In tandem with my concealer, I use a few dots of orange concealer. Yes this sounds insane. Yes it works. Your undereye circles are dark purple, and the tiny bits of orange brightens the entire area up. DO NOT USE A LOT. If you do, you will look like poor Christina above. But a light patting around your eyes combined with your concealer is a weird little miracle potion.
5) FACE POWDER: If you have the patience for pressing your own powders, and a suitably beautiful compact in which to press them, then I highly recommend using one of Shiro's highlighting powders to set your makeup. "BUT ANGELA," you lament, "THESE ARE HIGHLIGHTING POWDERS AND NOT MAKEUP SETTING POWDERS LIKE I KNOW AND LOVE." First of all, calm down, secondly, this is part of the overall dewy, flawless regime that I'm bringing to you today. "BUT ANGELA YOU ALREADY HAVE ME USING SHIMMER ON MY FACE WITH THAT CHARLOTTE TILBURY STUFF YOU LINKED BEFORE." Do you trust me, or don't you? I'll never lead you astray. Using a highlighting powder like Shiro's or the amazing palette by Hourglass, you're bringing up your face's best features and using external light to blur the things you'd rather not be seen. I can specifically recommend Shiro and Hourglass for this purpose, but please use caution if you freelance off this recommendation, and don't end up using something with this much shimmer in it on your whole face. We will use this later.
6) EYEBROWS: Firstly, I hope your natural eyebrow game is tight. Get yourself to the mall and get those babies threaded at once. No, not waxed, threaded. Nothing comes close to giving you perfect eyebrows. Believe me. Secondly, once your natural eyebrows are as good as they're going to get, you'll need to fill them in. You can never, ever go wrong with Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz. One pencil should last you between 8 months and a year, and nothing comes close to looking natural and flawless. If you'd rather use a powder, The Body Shop's eyebrow kit has been consistently amazing. You can use the brush that it comes with (if you're basic), or you can use a slanted brush.
7) EYELASH CURLER: Shiseido. Keep it in your bra while you do your face. Warms it up so it can better hold the curl. (Men reading this: do you yet appreciate everything that goes into the flawlessness you see on a daily basis? If not, you should).
8) EYESHADOW: This is a step that most women I know skip on a regular basis. Most people think that wearing eyeshadow pushes you into "too much makeup" category, and most people think they'll never do a flawless eye, so why bother?
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| Yeah, I'm not going to the grocery store looking like this either |
However, I have mastered the fine art of using products that can be clumsily applied, then blended, and look awesome. First, I use Charlotte Tilbury Colour Chameleon eyeshadow pencil on the outer corner of my eye. Then, I use elf Smudge Pot Cream Eyeshadow on the middle of my eyelid. Then I'll finish off with Clinique Touch Base for Eyes in Canvas Light on my browbone and inner corners. I will use the pad of my finger to blend everything and smooth out any rough edges on the colors. Blam.
9) EYELINER: Every woman who knows what black liquid eyeliner even is, wants to know what the best one is, and how to apply it like Adele. I'm going to save you the trouble. I've tried every single black liquid eyeliner on the planet - from Wet & Wild to Guerlain - and the darkest line with the best, most precise tip can be found in Clinique's Pretty Easy Liquid Eyeliner. Clinique has a reputation these days of being an old lady brand, but they've really pulled themselves together and released some fantastic products. This eyeliner is foolproof. I am such a homebody that if my eyeliner doesn't come out right, I will literally cancel my plans. I no longer have an excuse with this stuff.
If you prefer a pencil, and everyone does from time to time, I really have to commend Charlotte Tilbury yet again on her eyeliner pencils. Choose whatever pencil that she says compliments your eye color. I use Barbarella Brown on my hazel eyes and it just makes them look so golden. I always thought makeup company's companies of "making your eye color pop!" were a load of nonsense, but this one actually did just that.
10) MASCARA: Tarte's Lights, Camera, Lashes. Done.
11) CONTOUR/HIGHLIGHT: The standard product used for contouring is bronzer, but when you're as pale as I am, this just makes you look like you have streaks of chocolate across your face and it's not cute. So I discovered Shiro's Do Your Research which, at a glance, would look like something that would instantly turn your face into this
Au contraire, mes amis. I mean, not completely on the contrary, because after I apply my contour in the 3-Pattern (applying the contour powder on my temples, through my cheekbones, and down my jaw, making a pattern like the number 3), I look like I have similar bone structure to Johnny Depp.
After applying my contour, I use this brush to GENTLY pat Champagne Pop on the top of my cheekbones, by the outer corner of my eyes. Just a gentle pat, because I do not want to end up looking like another Pat I know.
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| I am genuinely sorry that my American friends won't get this joke because I'm hilarious right now |
Since Champagne Pop is such a genuinely awesome product, I will use one of my fluffy eyeshadow brushes and put a dot in the corner of my eyes and on my brow bone.
12) LIPS: It all depends on how much of a bad bitch I'm feeling like that day. The lanolin was not linked in error - that stuff is hands-down the most amazing lip treatment I've ever encountered, and far less expensive than the makeup company's iterations of the same thing. Throw out your Chapstick and EOS Balm and buy this.
13) BRUSHES: In addition to the highlighting brush linked above, I use Tarte's Airbrush Finish Bamboo Foundation Brush and this $15 set that is holding up like an absolute beast (you've heard me lose my mind about them before).
Even though this post has taken me hours to write, and probably hours for you to read, I should add that it only takes me about 15-20 minutes to do a full face. If I'm going out and have to look like a super presentable human, it may take longer, but my routine is pretty standard, and it's pretty simple, even if you're a complete novice.
Please let me know if you try, or have tried, anything I've mentioned! I'd love to hear your opinions!
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