Knit Yourself Into a Meditative State

I have a very busy mind. There are zero minutes per day when I'm not processing at least thirty active thoughts (excluding the passive brain functions, like "breathe" and "don't die"). It's exhausting to be in a near-constant state of cogitation, and as a result I gravitate toward hobbies where the active voice in my brain can be quieted for a little while.

Accurate

Of all the creative endeavors I've attempted, I am shocked to discover that knitting is my favorite. Years went by where I wanted to learn how to do this age-old skill, but was intimidated by the seemingly complex nature of it. Looked like a whole lot of loops and pulls and it appeared that you needed a level of mastery of like, quantum mechanics. It's very disheartening to attempt something you've been looking forward to and discovering that you're hopeless and you suck at it, so a lot of times we have a tendency to just not try at all. Whenever that voice pops up in my head, it triggers a red flag and I know I have to punch that defeatist jerk in the mouth.

So, I learned how to knit, and it's amazing, and I love it. Turns out, science can actually back up that positive feeling gained from this. In a comprehensive scientific study which involved 3,545 knitters worldwide, it was found that there is "a significant relationship between knitting frequency and feeling calm and happy. More frequent knitters also reported higher cognitive functioning." Can't beat that.

The really neat thing is, knitting actually isn't that hard. Anyone who tells you that knitting is difficult is one of those people who can knit, and wants everyone to think that they're SUPER SMART and unique. Lucky for you I'm not an asshole so here we go, let's learn how to knit.

Step 1: Pick your yarn and needles.

Before I learned how to knit, I thought any cheap yarn would be fine, so I bought a ball to start with. Then I learned that knitting involves handling this yarn nonstop for a really long time. Having knit with crap yarn and having knit with great yarn, I will tell you that the project is much more enjoyable an experience when you are handling soft, smuushy, comfy yarn. If you're just getting started, I recommend using a bulky or super bulky yarn (you can buy these at craft stores like Michael's or A.J. Moore, too). This is the equivalent of giving little kids those giant crayons when they're first learning how to color. Also, bonus, your blanket will materialize faster than if you were using a thinner, lighter yarn, so you'll have a quicker payoff. If this is your first attempt at knitting, it will prove to be very important to your motivation to start seeing instant-ish results.So, basically, to start, I recommend getting a yarn like Bernat Blanket, because it's soft, fat, and easy to work with.

You'll also need needles. I like circular needles because your project can be entirely contained on the cord connecting your two needles, and there's very little risk that any of your stitches are going to come off the other end (which, you'll learn, sucks so bad). The thickness of your yarn generally corresponds to the thickness of your needle, so if you're using a thin yarn on thin needles, you'll have a fairly tight, standard knit, versus using a thin yarn on thick needles, which results in an open, crochet-like knit. For bulky or super bulky yarn, I've used Size 19 (15mm) needles with great success. I've also used Size 36 (20mm) needles with this bad boy and oh boy that was a fun scarf to make. But whatever let's move on.

Step 2: Ball up your yarn. 

When I first started, I thought this step was a waste of time. I figured if we were meant to have balled-up yarn, they'd sell yarn balled up. However, after a few weeks of knitting, I realized that using the yarn as Walmart intended was not ideal, because you can't use the wad with a yarn bowl which is something you'll really love being able to use as your knitting progresses. The wad just gets gummed up in there and won't roll out smoothly and makes you break the knitting groove you were in.

So here's how you make a yarn ball. P.S. Not sorry about my manicure. I like it.

Wrap your yarn around your fingers like this.

Do this a bunch of times.

Slip your fingers out of the yarn loop and pinch your loop for dear life.

Wrap your yarn around the loop you just made.

Do this repeatedly, wrapping your yarn equally around all axes of your ball.

Take the very end of your ball and tuck it under like this. And you're done.

Step 3: Cast On

This is where you actually start your project. To start off, try casting on ten stitches (you'll see what I mean here in a minute). Don't dive into blanket territory just yet, allow yourself to get the hang of the motion and the tension in the yarn. It took me two or three projects to troubleshoot all the little things that come up in the learning process, so allow yourself that margin of error and you'll enjoy it a lot more.

Now, make a slip knot. I confuse myself trying to teach anyone how to do this (thanks, World's Finest Navy), so either you already know how to make a slip knot, great, or you don't, in which case, that WikiHow is everything you need.

Take your slip knot and slip it over one of your knitting needles, keeping it kind of towards the top of your needle.

Then, take the needle with the slip knot on it, and hold it in your right hand.Take the piece of yarn that's attached to your yarn ball (that's called the "working yarn") and wrap it around your hand like this

Then, all you're going to do is take your right needle, slip it under the yarn that's over your palm, and slip the whole thing off.

The dog is optional

Pull your working yarn so that your stitch is fairly tight, but not choking, your needle. Aaaaand you've done it! You've cast your first stitch! Now, do this again. Like I said - if this is your first project, I would try to keep your first row of stitches small, something like ten or so stitches. So, you would repeat the "yarn over the hand, needle under the yarn, pull your loop over and tighten" process nine more times.

AAAAND KNITTING

For the purpose of this demonstration, I've only cast on five stitches here. So this is how it looks after you've successfully cast on your stitches. Now, let's knit.

STEP 4: KNITTING

Take your needle full of your stitches, and hold it in your left hand. Hold your empty needle in your right hand, like I am doing in that last picture. For the garter stitch, the most basic stitch which looks like this

you're going to start by scooting all your stitches as high up on your needle as you can without them falling off, and then taking your right needle, and slipping it under and behind your top stitch, like this

If the stitch on your left needle was a little too tight, you might have to wiggle your right needle around a little bit to work a tiny bit of room into it. Once you've got your needle comfortably under your stitch, take your working yarn, wrap it counterclockwise around your right needle. If you look at your yarn situation head-on, it's going to look like an elephant's face, with one stitch on either side of your working yarn that's coming down the center like an elephant's nose.

Then, you're going to slide your right needle back without letting your elephant's nose yarn come off, and you're going to use the tip of your right needle to push the working yarn through the loop that's on your left needle. Like this

Next, slide the stitch off the left needle. You're literally just sliding that left stitch off the left needle. You don't have to put it on the right needle, just slide it off. That looping you just did with the working yarn, you've created a new row of stitches on your right needle.

Repeat this process until your left needle is empty, and your right needle is full.

Then, put your full needle in your left hand, and your empty needle in your right hand, and just repeat the process.

Grab a stitch off the left needle with your right needle

Loop your working yarn through the crotch of your needles

You're going to be doing this exact process - grab a stitch, loop your yarn, slide the yarn through, and slip the loop off - on repeat, back and forth, switching your hands as needed, until you've got an entire project done. BUT WAIT, what do you do when you're finished knitting?

STEP 5: BINDING OFF

So now, you're almost out of yarn, or your project is as big as you want it to be, whatever. Now you have to bind off your project so all your stitches stay put forever.

First, knit two stitches the exact same way you've been doing this entire time. But just two - don't knit your entire row like you normally would.

Then, on your right needle, you'll have those two stitches you just knit. Using your needles, take the bottom stitch on your right needle, pull it up over the stitch above it, and then slide that off your needle.

Knit another stitch - you'll have the one stitch leftover from the step before, so after you knit this fresh one, you'll have two stitches on your right needle again.

Slip the bottom stitch over the top stitch, making sure it loops over it like a daisy chain, and then knit another stitch. You're only ever going to have one or two stitches on your right needle at any time, and as you go, you'll see your project being bound off successfully.

Finally, you'll be left with one pathetic little stitch on your needle. Here's what you do. Take your working yarn, thread it through that stitch, and pull it. Knot it off as well as you want. Make it the Fort Knox of knots if you want.

And you're done. You've knit! Hooray! I'm so proud.

Soon, you'll see how easy it is to fix the little mistakes that come up, and you will be able to easily see what's going on when things start looking out of the ordinary. You'll get really good at this, and soon you'll be one of those people who can knit and watch a movie at the same time. Once you REALLY start loving it, you'll start getting the cool stuff like interchangeable knitting needle sets, yarn bins, yarn bags, and perhaps the most fun of all, different yarns. You can experiment with different weighted yarns, different materials and patterns, and once you really get the hang of it, you can even learn new stitches.

I've been at it for about a year now. Usually I get into a new hobby and I start buying all the gear, and then I get sick of it and put it to the side and forget about it. With knitting, my house is full of yarn and projects that are in-work, but rather than seeing them as an obligation, I see them as something I can't wait to tackle. It's a relaxing little activity that results in a blanket, so there's no downside.

Just remember, it takes a little while to find your groove and to get consistent stitches. That's okay, that's normal, and that's expected. Just keep going. You don't have to climb Everest in order to become an accomplished knitter.

Just remember - you know what they say.

Good luck!