Science-Bae Wednesday: Sergei Krikalev

If you were to ask three people around you how they would describe a typical scientist, or mathematician, or engineer, and they would probably give you a physical description that averages out to something like this, right?

Buzz, your GIRLFRIEND

Since I have come into the business of rocking misconceptions, today will be no different. Today I will introduce a feature called Science-Bae Wednesdays, where I introduce you all to the stunning people, male and female, contributing to the science that benefits everyone's everyday lives.

Today,we honor Sergei Krikalev -

Sergei is currently the world-record holder for most time EVER SPENT IN SPACE. Born in St. Petersburg, Russia, back when it was called Leningrad, he earned his degree in mechanical engineering from Leningrad Mechanical Institute because he's a genius. He has been a Cosmonaut (what the Russians call their astronauts, because God forbid we called our people the same thing) since 1985, and first went up into space in November 1988 onboard the Soyuz TM-7 to dock with the Soviet's Mir space station. On that mission, he returned to Earth in April 1989. Since he was basically hot shit even then, they sent him back into space May 1991 where he stayed onboard Mir until March 1992. Seems like a pretty long time, right?

Da.

Guess what happened while he was up there on Mir that second time?

His country dissolved. Like, the Soviet Union launched him into space, and while he was up there, stopped existing. Can you even imagine the panic? The dude had no idea if or how he would get home. He stayed in touch with HAM operators on the ground who were his only real source of information about the country he knew and loved. Oh yeah, and also the country where his entire family was living at that time.

After Sergei saved the world and effectively ended the Cold War with his dreamy steel blue eyes (that might be an embellishment), he was chosen by NASA to be the first Cosmonaut to fly onboard our beloved Space Transport System (have you been paying attention?). He flew onboard Discovery for STS-60 as the prime mission specialist. and logged himself another eight days, seven hours, and nine minutes in space.

Who wears short shorts? SERGEI WEARS SHORT SHORTS

In 1998, Sergei became the first Russian to enter the International Space Station (ISS), when he and NASA Astronaut Bob Cabana sailed through the American Unity module to switch on the lights. Which was kind of a harbinger of things to come, because Sergei became one of the first three people to man the ISS for Expedition 1. This time, his country did not collapse while he was up there.

This pleases Sergei.

Since at this point no one knew more about sailing the cosmos than Sergei, he was chosen to fly once more for Expedition 11 in 2005. On August 16th, 2005, Sergei beat the former "most time ever spent in space" record when he logged over 748 days up there.

He flies planes too so I'm basically half pregnant right now

As of this moment, Serge has earned 803 days, 9 hours, and 39 minutes in space. To put that in perspective, if Sergei's space time was a human, it would have all its teeth, would be walking, speaking, and being really cute. The man is a beast.

I'm dead

In his six space flights, Sergei has performed countless space walks and experiments in microgravity. He currently holds the position of Vice President of the S.P. Korolev Rocket and Space Corporation Energia which is a pretty big deal because that's like the Russian equivalent of Boeing, Lockheed, and McDonnell combined.

Even upside-down Sergei knows that he's kind of a big deal.

So, if before today you thought that being smart and being smokin' hot were two mutually exclusive groups, I hope I have begun to shatter that notion in your mind.

He even ages well ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

If you live in an area with a decently low amount of light pollution, go outside when you can and try to spot the International Space Station. It will look like a weird, predictably-moving star, but once you catch it, you can gaze upon that little dot, know that humans are up inside that tiny dot right at this moment, and than once upon a time, our dear Sergei helped get that thing up and running.

Also really just every single thing about this picture is awe-inspiring

Raise a glass to the bae's of Science!